Never apologize for your fluency in english. If you have a different mother tongue, you are under no obligation to know english at all, let alone fluent english. Never let anyone make you feel bad for not speaking proper english. Be proud of your mother tongue. Why should we learn their language when they mock and refuse to learn our own.
A note: if you ever get the urge to say "Not all _____ people!" or "We all bleed red!" or "At the end of the day, we’re all human…" or any variation of those things, when a person living on the margins is speaking about their marginalization/oppression — DON’T.
1. Open Culture: Not a large a selection, but high quality texts. If you just want to skim a book to brush up on a course you took in ninth grade, download one of these. I have yet to be disappointed.
2. Book Boon: Provides free college-level textbooks in a PDF format. Probably the widest range of subjects on the web. The site is also pretty.
3. Flat World Knowledge: The worlds largest publisher of free and open college textbooks. Humanitie texts are particularly difficult to come by, this site has a great selection in all disciplines.
4. Textbook Revolution: Some of the books are PDF files, others are viewable online as e-books, or some are simply web sites containing course or multimedia content.
5. Library Pirate:I’ve always had an addiction to torrent based pirating. When this site opened a few months ago, I went a little overboard. After dropping two hundred on a paperback spanish textbook, I downloaded the ebook version illegally. I also got a great Psyc text i’m obsessed with. It will be interesting to see how this site grows- they already have a great selection.
Are You Being Gaslighted?
TURN UP YOUR GASLIGHT RADAR.
CHECK FOR THESE TWENTY TALLTALE SIGNS
Gaslighting may not involve all of these experiences or feelings, but if you recognize yourself in any of them, give it extra attention.
1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself.
2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
4. You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.
5. You wonder frequently if you are “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.
6. You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
7. You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases with your partner in mind, thinking about what he would like instead of what would make you feel great.
8. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
9. You find yourself withholding information from your friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
10. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
11. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists.
12. You have trouble making simple decisions.
13. You think twice before bringing up seemingly innocent topics of conversation.
14. Before your partner comes home, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day.
15. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person—more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
16. You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don’t have to tell him things you’re afraid might upset him.
17. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
18. Your kids begin trying to protect you from your partner.
19. You find yourself furious with people you’ve always gotten along with before.
20. You feel hopeless and joyless.
The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern (via autistpsyche)
The language here caters to a very specific type of relationship, but the information is applicable to any kind of situation, be it with a non-male partner, with a non-romantic family member, as part of a polyamorous relationship, etc.
I heard his story on NPR. His mom raised him to “not see color” etc. And the cops beat the hell out of him when they pulled him over. It took seeing him in jail beaten half to death for her to see that race matters every day.
"I thought that love would conquer all and skin color really didn’t matter. I had to learn the really hard way when they almost killed you."
Please let yourself be proud of small things. Please do that. Please allow yourself to get really excited about playing a video game well or sending an ask you were nervous about or letting a bug outside or peeling the whole orange in one try. Please get so excited about that. Please. That’s so cool I’m so glad you did it.