Harriet Tubman was one of the first ecofeminists but ppl sleep on her b/c she was a Black woman. But it takes such a vast and deep knowledge of geography, ecology, hydrology, soil science, sedimentology,etc to be able to come back and forth from The States to Canada and never get caught and cover your tracks all throughout Northern Appalachia and New England, at all times of the year, 100+ times, freeing 70+ families. Like how many of y’all can go from here to the next state over with the stars and the land only as your help, and get your location?!?!?!?
Harriet should be the shining exemplar for eco feminism. Y’all need to have her erected in all y’alls buildings/institutions tbh. Stop sleepin.
“I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?””—
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
When I’m at my worst, just being invited to drive with you while you run errands is often enough to keep me from doing a complete downward spiral, but please don’t guilt people for not being able to hang out… It’s the worst feeling of shame for having depression in the first place on top of worrying that you will lose those you love for being a shitty friend.
I mean, I’m not saying that we can enforce this as law or anything. I also might be wrong about this. But:
Just as a general rule, I feel like we should not look at pictures of the breasts or genitalia of people who would rather we not look at pictures of their breasts or genitalia.
As a corollary to that general rule, I would add that I don’t see anything wrong with looking at pictures of breasts or genitalia of people who have invited us to do so. There seem to be plenty such pictures for us to get a reasonably good grasp of, like, the diversity of unclothed human anatomy without having to look at people who wish we wouldn’t.
This seems pretty straightforward to me. Yes, the photographer(s) who photographed Kate Middleton’s grainy distant breasts were violating her privacy. But so do people who choose to look at those pictures.
So maybe we can just agree not to? And this goes not only for princesses, I would argue, but also for people who send things to their romantic partners, who turn out to be jerks and release those photos publicly. Or people whose phones are hacked. etc.
In this world where most every curiosity can be satiated, it seems to me genuinely heroic to resist the urge to look at everything that can be seen, and instead to respect the wishes of those who feel violated or hurt by the availability of images they wish were private.
“It was just my third day on the job; I was still learning to use the fax machine. A coworker who’d been on PTO my first two days appeared in my office, introduced himself via nutcracking handshake. He made small talk, then business-speak, back to small talk. Only so much to be said about the weather, the traffic, and the mayor. A column of silence rose between us. His gaze alighted on my head. “How did you get your hair like that?” He reached across my desk and ran his fingers through my hair.
I gripped his arm mid-arc, squeezed it just hard enough to signal my spirit, and flung it away. “If you want to touch my hair, you ask first. And when you do ask, I’ll say no.”
Shock and puzzlement leaped through his features. He flushed several shades of red, pivoted, exited.”—
It takes care and attention and time to handle natural hair. Something we have lost from our African culture are the rituals of health and beauty and taking time to anoint our-selves. And the first way we lost it was in our hair.
Yes. We had to re-learn everything. Babies without cradles. But we managed to find it again.
“Your brain is wired for survival, not happiness. That is why it keeps bringing up negative emotions, past mistakes and worries about the future. Because of this wiring, you can get stuck in repetitive cycles of self-criticism, worry and fear that interfere with your ability to enjoy the present moment.”—Why anxiety is so hard to manage (and how to fix it)
let’s not act like there wasn’t black ppl doing cultural appropriation at afro punk too. like as many pics as i seen of black girls wearing a nath or bindis or both with the tikka. like…
like we’ve been saying solidarity isn’t a one way street but let’s hold each other accountable for the shit we’re doing too. b/c we’re rightfully angry about that white girl who was photographed appropriating, but i’m getting some crickets from y’all about how black ppl was out here doing it too…
I don’t think saying blue ivy is ugly is funny and I’m being serious I’m not really opening the floor up for dissenting opinions… You all are disgusting and I especially note non-Black PoC saying she isn’t pretty *and* saying north west is prettier like do you think Black people don’t know that you don’t like Blue because she has features you’re associating with Blackness and her father that you don’t like? like… It’s transparent as fuck and disgusting, she’s a baby, she’s adorable and you’re vile.. And it’s not because “omg I love beyonce” like you all are acting a fucking ass and being disgusting towards a Black child like it’s just a dash topic like, no…
r ppl actually writing articles about the “skinny bitches” lyric in nicki’s song????
are y’all serious
as a thin woman ima just say
plz stop pretending that fat-hate isn’t linked with anti-Blackness and that any feelings of “skinny shame” are in any way comparable to navigating the world as a fat Black woman or a fat woman of any other race. and are we non-Black women really fronting like we don’t benefit from a beauty hierarchy that positions Black women (especially dark-skinned, fat Black women) as the least desirable? come on y’all.
I don’t subscribe to the “real women have curves” bullshit but in a culture that simultaneously fetishizes and hates Black women’s bodies and uses fat-hate to (often) mask it’s hatred for those same bodies and the communities they come from, for Nicki to say “fuck skinny bitches, I have a big fat ass” is pretty rad so please, fellow thin and non-Black women, take a deep breath and remind yourself how much society caters to our body size.
ok internet, here’s an interruption in your daily rugged white dude dashboard.
this is cykeem white:
cykeem is an up and coming male model who (i believe) just participated in his first fashion week. he is insanely beautiful.
i highly recommend you all join me in keeping a close eye in his career trajectory, because he’s an extremely talented model, and he is, imo, shockingly beautiful. everyone likes shockingly beautiful men, right? right.